Vanilla Twilight
by Kc495
Summary: *based of the song vanilla twilight, by Owl city* I honestly don't know what to do. I don't I could really shed anymore deprived tears. Girlfriend deprivation ... Yeah. That's what I have. Its not a real thing I don't think. It a funny thought though. I wonder if she's cried yet. Does she even miss me like I do? I ask her if she does. She says she does, But I cant really tell.


**_Vanilla Twilight_**

* * *

I've ben out-of-town for a while now. I don't really know how long. You kind of forget once you've ben in once place for so long and your so bored you have nothing to do with yourself. . It really sucks too. When your away from your girlfriend, and the only way to connect with her is through phone. . I'm not complaining though. Its something so I guess it's not so bad. At least I can hear her voice.

She sound's so cute on the phone. I just want to grab her though the screen and hug her till I can't anymore. It's too bad that I can't though. . I wish she could come over here where I am. Cause by this rate it would take a while lot longer till I get to go home. To be with her physically.

I like the way she laughs too. I just say something perverted or what I think is funny and she just laughs too. It probably a fake laugh though. She possible just wants me to feel better. Which is cool. I like when she's happy. Whether its fake happiness or not.

It's not like she tells me though. I ask her how she is all the time, but she always says the same thing. She says she fine. I can tell though. She doesn't sound all that fine as she's making it out to be. She doesn't think after a year of being together that I can't tell if she's sad? If so... Then she must think pretty low of me.

It's a whole lot lonelier here then I thought it was going to be. A whole lot boring too. I'm with My brother though. Kaoru, so I guess it could be worse. . There is that spot though... You know that empty spot that finds its way in your heart when your longing for someone really far away? Namely... Your girlfriend.

It doesn't eve feel weird anymore. I use to think talking on the cell with her was a bit awkward. I was just so use to talking to her in person, but it doesn't bother me anymore. Strange as that is. . I wonder if I sound weird on the phone. I asked her that before. Though I just think she was being nice when she said I sound cute.

I honestly don't know what to do. I don't think I could really shed anymore deprived tears. Girlfriend deprivation ... Yeah. That's what I have. It's not a real thing I don't think. It a funny thought though. I wonder if she's cried yet. Does she even miss me like I do? I ask her if she does. She says she does, but you know. . . You don't really know what the person is really thinking about. Dose she think the same thing about me? does she not think I miss her more than anything. . I wish she was hear, so I could show her...

"So where you doing anything interesting today? or where you just as bored as you where yesterday?" She chuckles. I seriously can't get over how gosh darn cute she is~! . . I don't mean to sound perverted or anything, and it's not meant to be dirty, and I don't mean for it to be dirty in any way but... Some times I just want to lay in bed with her, and hold her. . You get these strange urges when your mentally alone. . I say mentally cause I'm one room away from my parents hotel room. I see them everyday. Kaoru too. We're sharing.

"I'm always bored when I don't have my little Tanuki here to keep me company." I reply with a smile. I wonder if she can hear me smile, and just how much I do it when I hear her voice. . I honestly don't see how anyone could hate her. Not that I know anyone who does it's just that... Well you know what I mean. "Your probably worse thought huh? you don't have this sexy body to look at on a daily basis." I add. My smile quickly turning into a smirk.

She gives off another soft laugh. That one didn't sound to fake this time. . "Yeah, Sure. You know you might not be as sexy as you think any more... I haven seen you in so long you probably gained some." She says to me. I can't see, but she's probably rolling her eyes. She always does that. Multiple times a day actually.

"Ha! yeah right." I gasp. Pretending to be sound offended. She laughs though. She knows I can't get offended easily. Especially By her. . "If its anything I've probably lost some."

"Your eating enough over there aren't you?" She asks. I think I hear concern in the tone of voice she uses. . I Just laugh inside at that. I am the only one she worry's so heavily on. Which is just perfect. Cause what guy doesn't want that? I don't mean that to sound sarcastic when I say that either. It really is the best feeling in the world to be worried on by someone like her.

"Of course I am." I sigh. Flopping down on my large queen size bed that came with the hotel. The truth is... I don't eat as frequent as I should, I get my fair share I just don't usually have it in me to eat. I just don't feel like it as much anymore. Possibly a side effect from the depression I have developed. I haven't said anything about that to her yet, fortunately.

"You always sound tired on the phone Hikaru are you getting enough sleep?" She asks another question. . She could be such a worry wart sometimes. That though. Is just another thing I can add to the list of things that make her unbearably adorable. It's a wonder how I even got this far without dying from her absolute cuteness.

"I'm getting enough to keep me standing." I tease With a chuckle. Rolling my eyes for the first time tonight. Up to this point. I haven't ben getting much sleep. I don't tell her that much either. Now that I get thinking about it though. I don't tell her a lot of things. I mean. I like when she's all concerned about me and stuff, but I don't need her worrying about me so much that she can't go along with her daily needs. . That's asking for too much.

"I'm worried about you Hikaru... You don't sound like yourself anymore." She sighs. . I guess I don't need to worry about her not missing me anymore. I can clearly tell with the way she said that. Her voice is so soft that I can tell that she's sad.. Sad and lonely... I'm not the only one!. . Yay~!. . . . Oh wait. That's not good.

"I don't sound like myself cause I'm not." I agree with her. Laying on my side. With my face almost buried deep in my pillow, I say almost because It is sort of deep. Though not enough so that she can still hear me and not have my voice muffled. "I can't be myself if I don't have my other half with me." I add. Trying to be romantic.

"Your other half?" She says confusedly. Apparently she didn't get what I was trying to tell her. That's okay though. Her obliviousness is just another thing that makes her amazing. . "I don't understand isn't Kaoru with you?"

"what?... No Haruhi I meant you."

"Me?"

"Yes... Never mind just forget about it. I want to think that I said something awesome. Lets not ruin it okay?" I sigh. She so cute and I love her an all. Obliviousness an all that, but... It's not fun sometimes when your trying to be romantic. She just never seemed to get it.

"Oh, Okay..." She says back. Perhaps I upset her with what I said. I don't know. I'm not going to ask though. I never know how to control what I say. It's like it just comes out. My mind has no say in the matter. . "... Your bathing daily though right?" She asks randomly. I really can't help but laugh at her slightly.

"Yeah, Haru...I can do that much." I say between chuckles. I honestly don't know where she would come up with a question like that. She knows how much I despise being dirty. Though I can see why she's asking that. . Now that I think about it though. I haven't taken a shower tonight yet... I don't want to end our phone call just because I have to though. The shower can always wait. . "Besides, have **you** taken a bath yet? or have you ben to wrapped up talking to me?" I say. Feeling slightly full of myself tonight.

"I've taken my bath." She says in a sassy tone. That's probably fake though. She doesn't act sassy around anyone but me. I guess you could say I'm her favorite person in the whole wide world?... Wouldn't that be just fantastic. . . "... Well. You haven't told me what you did today yet." She adds. I hear the shuffling of blankets. I suppose she's getting in bed now. She's probably go straight to sleep after she's done talking to me.

"There's not much to tell." I say. Turning the other way on my bed. Pulling my pillow that was next to me and not under my head into a hug. . "My day events are fairly limited when I don't have... You next to me." I say with a pause. I was going to say something like buddy or my love, but we all know of her ways of not being able to detect any romance, so saying her directly is the best way for her to understand.

She snorts in a cute way at me. Probably thinking to herself that I'm ridiculous, and I don't need her to have a good time. That's not necessarily true though. You may think that I'm being over dramatic about what I'm about to say, but. I really do need her to have a good time. . . When I was younger I use to always just rely on my twin for such things as to keep me entertained, as would I with him, but now though. Now that I'm older. I can count on other people for that.. I understand things now.

I take away the phone from my face to check how long we've actually ben on the phone. . . Almost two hours now. Our conversations have lasted longer before, but for some reason I'm a lot more tired then usual. Perhaps all that lack of sleep is getting to me.

"Well, something had to have happened. You wouldn't be all the way over there if you were just doing nothing." She teases With a small laugh. Her voice is a little quieter now. Here father, Ranka. Might be asleep at the moment. I really should be a little more considerate. . Where I am has a little more of a time difference then where she is at in japan. While its only ten here. It has to be about eleven or twelve. I should really think about calling her at earlier times. .

"I want to know what's keeping you away from me for so long." She continued. The way her voice squeaked a little at the end I can tell she's smiling. . I personally like this part of her, and I like that this part of her only comes out when I'm around or talking to her.

I want to kiss her right now... I can't though. Have you ever had that kind of strange urge? Where you just want to grab that special person and just completely let your self loose? I miss having her always there. The way she always takes my kisses so willingly. I forgot how good her Passionate, and loving kisses feel. . . It's quite upsetting.

She yawns. I hear her. I can also tell that she tried to muffle it. . She's tired and doesn't want me to know. Its mid-night where she Is. She's probably really, really tired. She wont tell if she is though. Refuses to hang up the phone too. I guess she doesn't want to be rude and end our conversation just cause she's tired... She just waits for when I'm ready.

"I don't know." I say. Shaking my head. I seriously don't know what to do with her sometimes. Sheesh, she worries about me sleeping when she's up this late just so she doesn't offend me or something. . . "Hey Haruhi?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm a little tired , I think I'll go to bed for tonight. If that's okay with you." I say. I'm not tired. I mean I am a little, but I can go at least a few more hours talking to her. Though if I don't end the call now. I'll be keeping her up, and that's not right. She'd never end the phone call on her account.

"Oh, I'm sorry Hikaru...Have I ben keeping you up?" She apologizes to me sincerely. I'd laugh but I don't feel like it. It's not her who's keeping me up. If only she would just accept that it was he other way around... "You want me to let you go now?"

"Uh...Yeah." I say. I don't really now what I'm doing and I actually sounded bored when I said that. "I uh. I mean I'll Call you tomorrow though." I say hurriedly. I don't want to let her think that I don't want to talk to her. If anything I wish I could speak to her a little longer, but she's tired now... And I'd like for her to have a good nights sleep.

"Oh okay then." She says quietly. I hear another yawn. . . "I'll Talk to you tomorrow then."

"Okay." I smile. Moving my hand underneath my head to prop it up a little more off my pillow. I really don't think I could look forward to anything else more precious to me then for a phone call from her. They really are the highlight's of My days here. .  
"Night Haruhi, I love you."

"I love you too Hikaru."

That's all I really need to hear every night. . I wait for her to say something else but all there is, is silence. No beep to tell me that she ended the call. Just silence, and the background noise I hear from her side of the line... I roll my eyes. She doesn't eve want to end the call even after we said our good nights. God she's so cute.

I sigh pressing my finger down on the end button. Even I strain. Its hard. I didn't want to stop talking to her, and I lied telling her I was tired, but she needs her sleep and there wasn't any other way to do it, and to be honest... I'd rather be the one ending the call then her.

Kissing the screen to my phone lightly. I close it, drop it down on the end table next to the bed, and I slump my head back down on to my pillow... Turning my face around to bury myself into it like before. I'll just cry myself to sleep or something. I don't know.

_Oh Darling I wish you were here. ~_


End file.
